February 12, 2013 by slewfeet
If I had watched this game, I might have something interesting or insightful to say here. But I didn’t, so here are 20 facts about it instead:
1. Every time Corey Brewer missed a three-pointer, it was because he noticed Alan Anderson’s menacing glare from the corner of his eye and lost his cool.
2. Andrea Bargnani thinks the +/- stat is stupid anyways.
3. Neither Quincy Miller nor Quincy Acy had ever heard of each other until just today.
4. Anthony Randolph secretly hates getting free throws because it means having to high-five his teammates’ sweaty palms.
5. After Rudy Gay’s latest game-winning shot, Amir Johnson is giving serious consideration to getting a haircut of his face.
6. DeMar DeRozan has convinced himself that he still has a chance to audition for Terrence Ross’s dunk competition spot.
7. Both of Andre Miller’s personal fouls were credited to his moustache.
8. When John Lucas shoots for III, he makes that exact joke in his head every time.
9. In high school, Jordan Hamilton was unanimously voted Most Likely to be Eaten by a Compsognathus.
10. Kyle Lowry couldn’t tell Kosta Koufos and Timofey Mozgov apart for the entire game, but was afraid to mention it because it might seem racist.
11. Andrea Bargnani would’ve played much tighter defense if Kenneth Faried weren’t on his fantasy team.
12. Though Mickael Pietrus’s injury was reported as tendinitis, the reality is that he had an existential crisis after seeing all the zeroes in his statline.
13. Ty Lawson can’t believe he and John Lucas have the same listed height.
14. Landry Fields sulked through his entire post-game workout after learning that a rebound he thought he had was credited to the team.
15. Jonas Valanciunas’s favourite part of basketball is making pump fakes.
16. Hamed Haddadi still doesn’t know what team he’s been traded to.
17. Aaron Gray had no playing time because he’s still on the follow-through from his slow motion dunk on Sunday.
18. Not even Timofey Mozgov can figure out how you’re supposed to pronounce his name.
19. Evan Fournier honestly isn’t sure whether his facial hair is supposed to be ironic or not.
20. Rudy Gay is pretty much Raptor Jesus.