Raptors (1-4) vs. 76ers (3-2)


November 10, 2012 by bronasvalanciunas

The Raptors come out wearing their “Tribute to the Armed Forces” uniforms. It’s absolutely hideous. Next time they should just put a poppy on their regular jersey.

1st Quarter Observations:

Raptors jump out to a quick lead thanks to a big Andrea 3. It doesn’t last long. 7-7.

DeRozan with a big reverse dunk to make it 9-7. Watching the dunk was almost as enjoyable as listening to Jack Armstrong’s “Hellllloooooo!!!!!!!!!!”.

Spencer Hawes has a hideous moustache. As do most of the Raptors.

All of a sudden it’s 13-10 Raptors. I must have missed something there  while analyzing facial hair. The cameras have yet to flash to John Lucas III on the bench.

The Raptors are once again putting something together here. A quick Anderson 3 makes it 18-12. Then its DeRozan. First he shows off his athleticism with a spinning jump shot to put the Raps up 20-12. Then he gets it again and makes the simple pass. “Maturity before your eyes” in the words of Jack Armstrong. It all leads to an Andrea jump shot to make it 22-12.

Mascot and cheerleaders are on the sidelines doing something that involves a lot of glitter. Commentators are amused. I’m not.

1:46 John Lucas checks in for Jose. He shoots on their first possession. Miss, obviously.

A Ross 3 makes it 26-18. It must be because he looks somewhat like a dinosaur (read: velociraptor).

26-20 at the end of the first. A promising start, especially from DeRozan and Bargnani.

2nd Quarter:

Linas Kleiza is back and his eyes are watery.

Without their big guns (or maybe medium-sized guns?) on the floor the Raptors don’t have much going for them until…


However, the lead is still slipping. Soon it’s tied up again 29-29. How quickly that 10 point lead slipped away. I blame Ed Davis (an arbitrary decision).

On some more good shooting from Nick Young, the Sixers now have opened up a 5 point lead.

Make that 7.

I’m still undecided on whether I hate the sparse field of buckwheat sprouting from DeRozan’s chin, or love that he’s trying to turn himself into a goat.

Amir gets called for a foul and then does something in frustration. His shoes really don’t go with the “grizzled war veteran” look that the Raps are sporting tonight.

Armstrong just said “The Beebs” 3 times in 10 seconds.

Jrue Holliday blows by Jonas to make it 41-31. Mismatch. But at least Jonas is trying on D, unlike some big white guys (that was my obligatory dig at Andrea’s defence).

I’m definitely feeling some anger from my fellows in the Bronasdome. I guess not everyone here became a Raps fan because they enjoy the misery.

It’s now 47-33. Dwayne Casey’s looking pensive on the sideline. I think he’s missing Kyle Lowry.

PK Subban is featured in the crowd. I was going to say something witty about this moment, but I got distracted.

The boos are coming in from the crowd now. This game’s not funny anymore.

Halftime can’t come soon enough for the Raptors. They need to cry it out in the locker room.

Halftime Score: 52-33. (outscored 32-7 in that quarter. fuck)

More glitter in the Bollywood-style halftime show. I wonder if Andrea ever thinks about putting glitter in his beard.

3rd Quarter Observations:

Jonas comes out and hits a quick 2. Chipping away.

Bargnani feeds the pigeon. The room explodes with love as Calderon hits his 3.

The Raptors have come out playing rushed on offence and trying to make the big play on defence. Naturally, it’s leading to easy buckets for the 76ers. On offence, it’s leading to low percentage shots (an off-balance Andrea fade). It’s working though. Now their only down by 15. Now 13.

Things are starting to turn around for the Raptors here. Not to mention that I ordered breadsticks for the 4th quarter.

Note to self: November 18 is Jonas Valanciunas bobblehead day, and Matt Devlin keeps a JV bobblehead in his suit.

BARGNANI WITH THE 3!!! He must have called his mom at halftime. Followed by a silky drive from Alan Anderson. It’s down to 10. And then its Bargnani to Jose. 9 point game. (Yes, Philly did something at the other end in between those plays).

The Raptors have fallen off the boat and into the water. They try to grab Spencer Hawes’ mullet to get back on board, but it’s too greasy.

But it’s not over yet. 3-pointers have gotten the Raps back into it in this 3rd quarter.

At the tail end of the quarter Alan Anderson goes down after an attempted lay-up. The last thing the Raptors need is another injury, just as Linus Kleiza is coming back into the team.

Just as the 3rd looks like it’s about to fade away, Jose leads a fast break and passes it back to Amir for an emPHATIC alley-oop. The deficit is cut. To 7.

4th Quarter Observations:

At some point this quarter we should see the Raptors second unit. That’s worrying, considering what happened in the 2nd quarter.

And here comes John Lucas. He brings everything, including the defensive hustle, as showcased through a brilliant save leading to an Andrea 2.

Bargnani is infuriating. Moments after knocking down that 2 he throws the ball away the moment he begins to feel a double team coming.

DeRozan needs to stop taking so many silly shots. There’s time left in this game and no need to force it. Just drive, man.

Alan Update: It’s a sprained left foot for AA.

The Raptors are slipping here in the fourth. Dwayne calls a timeout with 5:54 left. The game is primed for a cracking finish with the Raps trailing by 14 (optimistic remark).

The Raptors put out a “skilled” lineup out of the timeout. John Lucas is included. Some buckets are traded and some Raptors make stupid decisions. DeRozan is self-destructing here in the fourth.

I zoned out for a while there. I look up and John Lucas is shooting free throws. This is definitely the “stat-padding” part of the game now.

Final Thoughts:

The Raptors just got too frustrated trying to deal with the 76ers defence for the full four quarters. They lost all patience and started taking bad shots. Team defence was also sub par.

Game Toad: Andrea Bargnani. 3 steals. I can’t remember any of them.

Game Goat: Demar DeRozan. 6-17 field goal shooting. He’s killing us with this.

Game Bench: Nick Young. Because he came off the bench. And played real good.

Final Score: 93-83 76ers.


One thought on “Raptors (1-4) vs. 76ers (3-2)

  1. ngafr says:

    Brilliant blogging, lacklustre effort from the raps as usual. Fuck. I didn’t even watch this game but the recap makes so much sense. AAAGGGHHHHHH. I have so many notable nuggets to dish out but I’ll save them for next game. Maybe we can get a game recap series going. Hey, one bright from this game: Nick Young (or as his twitter says, Swagy P). Gettin’ it in for my fantasy team, holla.

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