Raptors beat Knicks as Fields dominates “Key Matchup” with Carmelo Anthony

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February 22, 2013 by Rubixcube

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Rudy Gay, after catching a whiff of Tyson Chandler’s beard

As soon as I heard that one of the other bloggers (Amiracle15) had beaten my record for “most views for an article” I felt compelled to blog and attempt to reclaim my title. Ready to start blogging now. Currently sitting in room g59 in Woodward library. We managed to hook up a live-stream from one of our laptops to the big screen in the room. The video quality is terrible; it will definitely affect how I blog this.

Lowry hits a 3. It’s 19-13 Raps in the 1st at 4:03 on the clock. Good time to sign in I suppose.

A blurry blob named “Gay” crashes into several other blurry blobs in a blurry reddish area and loses possession of the blurry orange thing he was holding. Yeah…

Apparently Anderson is on the floor. At this point I’m blind, and relying on the commentators to give me cues as to what is happening. DeRozan gets stuffed.

JR Smith hits a 3. 21-19, suddenly the Raps are losing.

Lowry hits a huge 3. I can still manage to identify Lowry on the court because he is by far the most compact looking player on the floor.

Alright… apparently the key match-up is Anthony and Fields… to be honest, I never expected the words “key” and “Fields” to appear together in that context. Maybe like in a sentence like “Landry Fields lost the key to the locker room, and therefore had to make a Play Station commercial to pay for a copy…”, but not key as a synonym for important.

Lowry hits a 3.

Raymond Felton speeds up the game, as he takes an unrealistically speedy drive to the hole. Jesus that was fast.

Time winding down in the 1st. JR Smith makes a tough hook-shot.

And-1 by DeRozan to finish it off with 1.3 left on the clock. And hits the free throw. Solid end to the quarter

Currently my arch rival blogger “Amiracle15” is crushing my view record for his article titled “BREAKING: Tears Shed as Haddadi Shipped in ‘Shameless, Heartless’ Deal”. He currently has 57964 views. My article “Raptors Have a Fields Day” only got 51308 views. Shit.

Rautins and Black are much easier to look at when the screen is blurry. Thank goodness for that.

2nd quarter underway. And we have a blackout on the screen. 34-32 Raps.

I swear, Nadal has an unhealthy gambling addiction. That’s like the 100th time I’ve seen him play poker—the dude’s gotta get some help.

JL III does some completely unnecessary dribbling as usual. Gay misses the 3; Gay sucks.

JL III with a massive and-1 drive. Misses the free though.

39-39. We have a tight game here.

Andrea misses. And continues to affirm my assertion that he “sucks, and will never amount to anything but being the star of a stupid pasta commercial”.

Anderson hits a tough shot. Currently the score is “blank-39”.

Steal by Gay, but he misses the take; Gay sucks.

An in-your-face jumper by Carmelo. 46-42 for the Nets.

Fields hits a “perfectly executed” shot. Warning: that may be an overstatement.

Anthony beats the shot clock, while making the Raptors look like helpless baby seals. 51-46 Nets. Landry responds by hitting 2 frivolous frees. Take that Melo.

Gay misses a back-down-spin-move; Gay sucks.

There may be a disturbance in the laws of Temporal Physics as our game-clock is passing at a few notches above the pace of normal time passing.

Anthony air-balls a three. I think he also agrees, that time is passing by faster than classical physics would claim it does. It probably caught him by surprise that the clock was already about to put an end to the 2nd quarter. 51-48 Nets. The Raps are down, if I were Dwane Casey I would start playing Quincy Acy. But I’m not Dwane Casey… not even close.

3rd Quarter is underway. Just had a Skype session with Amiracle15, and told him I’d crush his view record with this current blog post I’m writing. But any further smack-talk will have to wait, we’ve got a game on our hands here.

Gay with the rebound; Gay sucks.

Fields took a charge. Good stuff. Chandler commits the offensive foul there.

52-51 Raps.

Gay slowly struts around shaking his head; Gay sucks.

Gay hits a huge jumper overtop Chandler; Gay sucks.

Gay plays defence; Gay sucks.

Gay is 6’9; Gay sucks.

Gay…; Gay sucks.

Fields misses his drive; He’s alright.

Derozan swishes a J.

Great play by Gay; Gay sucks.

Fields and Chandler exchange menacing glances and Chandler knows at least one stat he’s beaten Fields in tonight: facial hair quantity. That amongst many others…

Gay with a strong drive, great stuff; Gay sucks. Shortly after Derozan sinks a J. Raps are up 62-56.

RUDY GAY!!!! Big drive; Gay sucks… alright I’ll admit that was pretty good.

Gay hits a bank shot from a tough angle; Gay…….is okay. 68-59 Raps.

Gay hits a 3!! Exuding confidence as he executes the shot; Gay is feeling it.

JR Smith responds with a 3 of his own.

Gay with a monstrous play making his check look feeble; Gay is back in BINESS.

Amir is always in foul trouble.

Schumpert—now that’s a solid name. He also has some goofy hair.

Lucas tries doing it all as he juices time out of the 3rd and fails miserably to make an impact.

Amiracle15 has now accumulated 58087 views with his article. Good, at least he hasn’t broken 60000 views. I think I still have a chance.

4th quarter underway, Anderson tries to mimic Gay’s chops, and to no avail.

Derozan gets fouled while taking the three; Chandler commits the foul and is now at 5 fouls. Somebody other than Amir is in foul trouble now.

Jack Armstrong states he’s a “hard core guy”. I don’t have any idea what he’s on about. He follows that up by shouting “MGD” obnoxiously.

Felton crushes JL III on his way to the hoop and dishes it to Stoudemire. The lead has disintegrated to 81-79 for the Raps.

It’s all tied after Smith hits a BIG three. 86-86.

Lucas misses a three. They need to take Lucas off the court. He’s hurting them right now.

The “key matchup” of Fields and Carmelo is basically just a way of annihilating Fields’ ego, as the stat comparison is so dreadfully one-sided (and NOT in favour of Fields).

Man, they should change up those Nadal-Poker commercials. My suggestion is that the outcome of Nadal’s daring “all-in” play should be uncertain.

Tied up at 88.

Anderson is currently on the verge of scowling-out. The refs really aren’t pleased with his facial expressions.

5 minutes to go in the 4th. Gay backs down, and takes an absurd fade-away. See, this is why I was annoyed with Gay. He gets over-confident and decides to attempt to win the game single-handedly. DeRozan was completely open on that play, but he decided to toss up a stupid circus-shot. What does Gay expect? Does he think that shot actually has a good chance of dropping?

Gay hits a clutch shot. 93-89 Raps.

Lowry gets stuffed by a bald child… I mean Kidd…on the drive. Under 2 minutes to go.

Gay hits another really clutch shot.

In the wake of the celebrations for Gay’s nice shot, Carmelo just strolls in and cancels out Gay’s great shot. Then on the other end Gay gets stuffed. That was not smart basketball by the Raps.

Lowry hits an insane hook shot on the other end—97-95 Raps.

Chandler hits 1 of 2 key free-throws. 21.0 seconds remaining. The Nets commit the intentional foul putting the Raps back at the line; Gay is shooting. He makes his first…. and his SECOND!

99-96 Raps. Carmelo tosses up the 3 and MISSES!

6.9 seconds remaining. Gay at the line again. Gay hits 1 of 2 frees on the other end. Raps have a four point lead now.

Smith misses the 3. Raps have a fast-break with Anderson free to do what he pleases, but Anderson decides NOT to do the un-sportsman-like slam to finish off the game. You’ve got to wonder… if that were Fields, what would he have done?

Raps win it 100-96!

Game Bench: Rudy Gay. He sucked at first, but he came through when we needed him.

Game Toad: Landry Fields for being in the key-matchup of the game.

Game Goat: Alan Anderson. Horrid FG %.

One thought on “Raptors beat Knicks as Fields dominates “Key Matchup” with Carmelo Anthony

  1. amiracle15 says:

    “Anderson is currently on the verge of scowling-out. The refs really aren’t pleased with his facial expressions.”

    Hahahaha best line ever. Also spot on about Nadal–it’s getting out of hand at this point.

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